Wednesday, May 24, 2017

[Movie] 'The Force Awakens' yet again.

The movie that we all have been waiting for was finally released on 2015. I thought of writing about it back then. Then I kinda forgot. Because I don't want to spoil the story for every other movie-goers out there.



What's left of the Galactic Empire.
But now it have been about 2 years, and I'm pretty sure that almost everyone on the planet have watched this movie. If you haven't, then what can anyone do about it? Because I'm sure past caring at this point.

So how was the movie? It was great. A little bit awkward, I must admit. But overall it was great. Now why would I say it was a bit awkward? Well, the movie is pretty much self-explanatory. Its about the Force, awaking again. Because in the previous movies, the Jedi Order have been decimated. And the only Force-using individuals left are either Sith or 'not-really-a-Jedi' people.

Well, there are still remnants of them. A lot.
But the Galactic Civil War is over, right? The Rebel Alliance won, the Galactic Empire wipes the floor with their faces, and now comes the new age of the New Galactic Republic. But here's the thing. The Galactic Empire had a really huge armed forces. Even though the Rebel Alliance had struck a decisive blow against the Empire, there are still remnant of the Empire's massive armed fleet and whatnot.

And thus, brings us to the First Order. It didn't appeared overnight, of course. After a series of grueling aftermath battles and politicking and all that healing processes after the great war, the remaining Imperial forces gathered around the First Order. Which located to the far fringes of the Galactic Outer Rim.

And they're not done yet!
Secretly, they have been gathering strength, to retake back their place to rule the galaxy. I guess power is like cocaine, huh? People gets really addicted to it. I mean, can't they just disband and becomes space farmers instead? They could travel all over the galaxy with their awesome spaceships, and they wasted it all on war and power mongering.

Now this is the part where it got a little bit awkward. You see, the plot is surprisingly predictable. So predictable, you might as well just watch all the previous prequels, and all of it will have the same plot. The Imperial built a super secret superweapon, and the Republic will send a handful of starfighters to take it out.

Sometimes I wonder, how far those starfighter can actually travel? It seems like they can reach anywhere across the galaxy. How come the Imperial starfighters never adopted this guerilla-like 'I-attack-wherever-and-whenever-I-goddamn-please' strategy, is beyond me. Maybe the TIE starfighters have a really small gas tank, and require a carrier ship to take them between star system. I don't know.

Stormtrooper's pay must be really steady, for them to remain around for so long.
But what I do know, is that the Imperial remnant still a formidable force. Now this is pretty mind-boggling, because from what I understand, the clone army was practically phased out from the Imperial forces. And this movie took place roughly about 3 decades after the destruction of the second Death Star.

Where the hell did they grab all these minions? Is the Imperial military recruitment drive still goes on, even though the Emperor Palpatine already dead as a door nail? 30 years is a really long time. How did these guys get paid, with space potatoes? Don't them birth-born Imperial soldiers ever wanted to settle down, become a space farmer and grow space potatoes, and get married?

Oh yeah! Eat Millennium Falcon's smoke!
At any case, they're there. And the galaxy just have to deal with it. Now, just as Anakin and Luke Skywalker was found, the galaxy's new hope was also found in another desert planet called Jakku. One thing led to another, a Republic agent, Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac), was weaseling his way out from the First Order's dirty clutches.

Helped by a confused First Order stormtrooper named FN-2187 or Finn (John Boyega), who probably prefer growing space potatoes than killing people, he defected and they escaped. Well, they tried. They crash landed on planet Jakku. Finn survived, but Poe was nowhere to be found. Probably dead. But Finn managed to rescue Poe's jacket tho.

But hey, he survived, so he wandered around the desert and met Rey (Daisy Ridley). What is the odd of that? I mean, in the galactic scale, it is astronomically unlikely that they'll ever meet, but it happens and we all just have to deal with it. Okay?

Together with an astromech droid called BB-8, which originally belong to Poe, they tried to get off the planet and run away from the First Order. BB-8 got some really juicy intel for the Republic, so their destination would anywhere but near the First Order. Guess what happened? They found the Millennium Falcon in a junkyard, and stole it. Completely by chance. Believe it.

Hey you guys, mind returning the ship back before I shoot you all dead?
Turns out that Hans Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) also have been looking for the Millennium Falcon. It was stolen from them when they weren't looking, and it changes hand God-knows for how many times, its ended on the junkyard of Jakku. Well, now Solo wants his ship back.

Which is cool, for both Finn and Rey, because they just wanted to get away from the First Order. And Hans Solo is practically allergic to the Imperial presence. So they all got away, safe and sound. Nobody got hurt. Well, not really. Some space pirates, smugglers, and yakuzas, got killed along the way, but they all had it coming anyway. Nobody messes with Hans Solo, they ought to know that after the Galactic Civil War.

If this doesn't get them the galaxy, then I don't know what else will.
But here's the thing. The First Order really means business. Just like the previous Galactic Empire, the First Order had built a super secret superweapon. How this goddamn planet-sized superweapon was concealed at all is an enigma to all of us. In fact, how the hell did they built in the first place? That thing was literally a planet carved hollow and fitted with a titanic canon and technologies so advanced that it will blow your mind. And your planet too, while they at it.

Called the Starkiller Base, this superweapon is several times more deadlier than both of the Death Stars from previous movies, combined. And those Death Stars were already extremely deadly on their own. Its amazing how much time, energy, and resources that the First Order put into this thing. Do you know how much space potatoes that you can grow with that amount of resources and effort? I guess we'll never know.

Here is some 'Force' for all of you Republican hippies!
Just as Finn, Rey, Chewbacca, and Hans Solo reached within the New Republic's safe space, the First Order demonstrated the power of their new super secret superweapon. Signalling the declaration of war to the New Republic, from yours truly, the Imperial First Order.

The weapon was so brutally devastating, it has the range of halfway across the galaxy and can hit multiple planet-sized targets. And if you think that you can be safe by staying away from its range, then you thought wrong. Because it can also move. Like the Death Star.

And if that doesn't faze you yet, then here's another fun trivia. Starkiller Base is fueled by stars. An actual star. It will suck up all energies from a blazing star, leaving it as blackened husk. In other word, Starkiller Base will not only target your star system and pulverized it to atoms, but also destroys the very star system that's unfortunate enough to be its parking spot.

However, just like every other super devastating super secret superweapon, the Starkiller Base has a weakness. And that would be, it is prone to be sabotaged. I mean, its big. Planet-sized big. You'll need a lot of manpower to staff the goddamn thing, and you won't be able to efficiently monitor the whole goddamn operation. Remember what happened with the two Death Stars?

Well, they should've really just planted and grew space potatoes, instead of dying by the millions, just for the sake of having the biggest gun in the galaxy. They built like 2 Death Stars before, and both got wrecked. Who in his goddamn right mind would actually built the third one??

By the way, I heard that they were all also looking for Luke Skywalker. Story has it that Luke was planning to revive back the Jedi Order. I hope his plan doesn't involve 2 planets strapped together with a really huge space gun stuck right in the middle.


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