[Movie] Transformers: Age of Extinction
In the last prequel, the Decepticons pulled some nasty shits by bringing their home planet Cybertron using a massive space bridge into the Solar system. Failed, Cybertron stucked halfway through the space bridge portal, cut in halves and imploded, destroying what the Transformers once called their home planet. And that, brings us to the Age of Extinction.
Now, I got to be honest here. Am I the only person that feels that this movie suck balls? Don't get me wrong though, I don't mean that this movie sucks in a way that you'd feel on a low budget parody snuff film. I mean the movie's plot. Right off the bat from the opening of the movie, I've already felt that something bad was going to happen. How so?
Then the second and third film came out, and everyone still talking about that hot sexy thang. Did you know that Jazz and Ironhide died? Starscream and Shockwave were also killed. Who are they, you asked? Well, they were only the Transformers that were supposed to starred the damn movie! The same thing happened in this new Transformers movie sequel. They could pretty much just changed the title into 'Age of Extinction - featuring Transformers' and it wouldn't make any difference.
If you think I'm overreacting, then I'm telling you right now, that the Age of Extinction didn't even refer to the Transformers. Yeah yeah, I know in the movie, they were hunted down by some badass galactic Transformer bounty hunter with the help of black-ops human faction. But who was at the edge of extinction in the movie? That's right, it was the human. If you have watched the movie, then you'll know about the Seed. The one that supposedly would terraform the Earth, changing organic life-form into Transformers elemental metal, or something.
The Transformers though? They're fine, they're good. Remember the badass galactic Transformer bounty hunter, named Lockdown? Where do you think he came from? There are whole another planets terraformed by the Transformers somewhere out there in the galaxy.
And there's the story-line continuity. If you had played the game Transformers: War on Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron, they are not related to the movie, even though it uses the same characters' model. And then there were Transformers: Animated, a cartoon series, also unrelated to the movies. Seriously, I have never seen a franchise reboot in multiple different universe/ story ark almost simultaneously. It was so confusing, you wouldn't know you're fan of which one.
And that brings us back to the movie characters. In this movie, Ratchet and Leadfoot got killed early in the movie. Brutally, I might add. There was even a scene where they melted Ratchet's body for metal. Apparently, the human claimed to have decoded the Transformers genome or something, and now, human can build Transformers. Optimus Prime might as well smacked his head and joined the human because fuck it, who cares about the Allsparks anymore. Human can build up Transformers and obviously have solved the depleted power source problem that have been plaguing the Transformers for eons that making them scavenging for triple A batteries.
But what about the dead Transformers? Who cares, right? There is a new sexy teenager-turned-lady in the movie, and we all enjoyed the scene where she almost got tentacle-raped. The whole thing focus on more of the human characters and I'm pretty sure that even the Transformers were being humanized as well with the new Transformer's look where one of them wearing a trench coat while the other smoking a cigar. And the Dinobot also turned out to be some sort of Medieval Cybertronian ancient knights.
But that aside, the movie is great. In fact, it is advisable that you watch it with your kids, or friends, preferably ones that have no idea what hell is Transformers anyway. That would avoid complication and possible franchise's fan rage. Kid though, they loves seeing robot live-action movie, but make sure to cover their eyes during a couple or more rapey scenes in there.
But the ending might leaves you with a pounding headache of a question. How. Did. Optimus. Prime. Fly. At the end of the movie? Oh, that's easy young'uns. Optimus Prime is actually a space rocket that capable of interstellar flight, goddamit this movie doesn't make any sense!
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| But at least we got to see Optimus Prime riding a Dinobot. So it was totally worth it! |
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