Friday, March 13, 2015

[Movie] Colorless '50 Shades of Grey'

Ok, I know I'm a movie enthusiast, and I was happy that VH recommend this movie to me. But to my knowledge, VH doesn't watch movie that doesn't have at least one nude scene in it. So I was about turn away from this obvious trap, when I read somewhere that 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is one of the highest grossing film of 2015. So there I was, thinking that the man might actually capable of appreciating finer taste.

I was wrong. That man was as vulgar as he had always been. How did this film become the highest grossing film in 2015? I suppose sex REALLY sells. And this movie, its not just any sex. Softcore porn that involved deflowering and sprinkled with some S&M (sadomasochistic) spread. The only things that were missing were a monkey and two zebras. But then again, it wouldn't be a softcore porn now is it? Now I think about, is it even qualified to be called as softcore porn?

Her final innocent smile, before she got deflowered and violated, willingly.
Ok, that is so wrong in so many level..
Because of Blogger's policy on adult materials, ah screw that, its not that I really wanted to do it anyway. I thought I was lucky to get the uncut version. But I should've have seen it coming when the ticket seller asked me for my identification card and gave me the stink eyes. Turns out, this film was for adults only. Well, I'm an adult, so I thought, it shouldn't matter right? Probably this movie have super explicit gore scene with strong profanity with nudity thrown all over.

Again, I was wrong. It was a porn, and one thing that I think everyone can agree with, is that you don't watch a porn on a huge screen, with another 40-50 people, in the fucking cinema! Do you know what's the difference between a porn and a movie? Plot. You don't watch a porn for the story, and this film doesn't have a plot.

You want to know what happened in film? Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) met Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), Ana is a geeky little thing, and Christian have a huge huge.. wallet, and so they shagged, because why not? I know that in some porn, all they need to make a scene was a pizza delivery guy.

This guy may not be delivering pizza, but he owns a helicopter.
So that makes it totally ok for him to be a sexual deviant.
Otherwise he would be in prison now.. getting rekt.

I asked the chief editor about this, and he only reply back to me by saying, "Remember Nymphomaniac? VH was the one recommended to me that movie... that movie was almost 6 hours long, in uncut version. Why did you listen to him anyway?".

Urgh.. now I can't go back to that cinema for at least... a year.


  1. Hahahaha

    Come on, it WAS entertaining, was it not?


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