Sunday, August 23, 2015

[Movie] Watching 'The Watch'

Simple family fun entertainment, also known as The Neighborhood Watch, its a 2012 sci-fi comedy film. Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, and Evan Goldberg. Guess who're the stars? That's right, its Jonah Hill, Ben Stiller, Richard Ayoade, and Vince fucking Vaughn. You're in for the weekend's family time movie watch train. Climb aboard everyone, put down yer iPads and smartphones, and get yer self some sloppy joes.

In case you doesn't know who the hell is Richard Ayoade, he's the guy from The IT Crowd and Gadget Man. I think this is the first time that Richard gets to be the main cast. Usually he plays the nerd/computer guy, minor roles if you asked me, and if you've seen him from the TV shows that I've just mentioned, then you'll know that he is awkwardly funny. So here he is, joining the gang for more awkward hilarity.

The movie premise was a simple one. Evan Trautwig (Ben Stiller) is a Costco manager that lives in Glenview, Ohio. He was contend with his life, where he lives his life proactively and strive to contribute to the neighborhood as much as he can. Until one of his work friend, Antonio Guzman (Joseph A. Nunez), who worked as the Costco night security guard, got brutally murdered and skinned. Or I think he was skinned first, then brutally murdered. Maybe both at the same time. At any rate, he was dead.

The incident shocked Evan tremendously because all of sudden, his happy life and neighborhood doesn't seem safe anymore. And also, the police officer, Sergeant Bressman (Will Forte), implied his suspicion of Evan, unreasonably of course. But Glenview only have 8 cops and there are thousand of residents, and so Evan felt that he should do his part to help kept the town safe, Partly probably because Sergeant Bressman seems.. really incompetent.

And the neighborhood watch was formed, with only 4 guys. Seems like no one took the murder incident seriously, probably because the murder case seems like an animal attack. You know, viciously shredded and missing skin, must be bear. Skin loving bear. Or maybe its raccoon, raccoon like skins, right? But that didn't discouraged Evan at all.

Though he should have been. His neighborhood watch was joined by a trio of oddballs. Franklin (Jonah Hill) seems to be a psychopathic man child or something. Bob McAllister (Vince Vaughn) just want to have guys' hangout night, drinking boozes and chilling. While Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade), who was recently divorced and hoped to involves more with the local community apparently expecting some sexual exploit.

And to makes things even more depressing than it already have, Evan's wife, Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt) kept pestering him about making babies. Its not that Evan doesn't want to get it on, like Donkey Kong, with his wife, its just that his sperm is nowhere to be found when he went for checkup. He haven't told his wife, because, well its kinda hard to break that kind of news when your testicles betrayed you.

But hold on a second, isn't this supposed to be a sci-fi film? What so science fiction about it? Well, turn out Guzman was murdered by an alien. Alien that wanted to invade planet Earth, starting from Glenview. Why you ask? Because that's what alien do. They comes to planets, they destroy them, and then moves on. At least that what the alien said when Evan questioned him when alien revealed himself.

So, what's Evan gonna do? Its not just his town anymore, its an impending extraterrestrial invasion on global scale, though it  gonna starts from Glenview first. But dammit, Evan got a world to save. And he might die in doing so, might be best if he comes clean with his wife about his penis shooting blanks and their plan of having babies went up in smokes. I mean, the end is nigh, alien invasion is imminent, even if Evan's testicles works, they won't be having babies anytime soon.

Will Evan and the goofballs, I mean the neighborhood watch, prevail against the alien attempt to signal the alien invasion armada and began the its-what-we-alien-do thing? Can Evan comes clean with his wife about his malfunctioning balls? Well, all I can say, is that the movie have a happy ending. Except for Antonio Guzman. He got brutally murdered and skinned earlier, so no way for him to come back from that.


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